Building Self-Esteem & Confidence
How you see yourself shapes almost everything — the chances you take, the relationships you accept, the way you handle setbacks. Low self-esteem is learned, which means it can be unlearned. Stephanie de Raay is a counselling psychologist (HPCSA – PS 0154580) who works with teenagers and adults across South Africa by scheduled video call, from wherever you are.
This is not about becoming a different person — it is about building a steadier, kinder relationship with the one you are.
What low self-esteem can look like
It often shows up as harsh self-talk, constant comparing, fear of judgement, people-pleasing, struggling to accept praise, and avoiding challenges in case you fail.
Self-esteem in teenagers
For teens, self-worth takes a battering from social-media comparison, body image, the need to belong, and marks that feel like a verdict on who they are. A confidential space helps them separate their worth from the highlight reel. There is more on counselling for teenagers in South Africa.
Self-esteem in adults
In adults it can look like imposter feelings, over-apologising, staying in the wrong job or relationship, or never feeling “enough”. The work rebuilds a sense of self that does not depend on everyone’s approval. There is more on counselling for adults in South Africa.
How Stephanie works with self-esteem
The approach is person-centred and DBT-informed — quietening the inner critic, building self-compassion, and practising the skills that grow real confidence over time. More about Stephanie and her approach.
Frequently asked questions
Isn’t confidence just personality?
Not really. A lot of self-esteem is learned from experiences and messages over time — which means it can be rebuilt at any age.
My teen is glued to social media and hates how they look — can therapy help?
Yes. A big part of the work with teens is loosening the grip of comparison and building worth that is not tied to likes or appearance.
Can self-esteem work help with people-pleasing?
Yes — people-pleasing and low self-worth are closely linked. Therapy helps you set boundaries without guilt.
Where do we start?
With a free intake call, to understand what is knocking your (or your teen’s) confidence and what would help most.
How sessions and fees work
Sessions are 55-minute secure video calls, and everything starts with a free 15-minute intake call. Full detail on how sessions run, fees and medical-aid reimbursement lives on the therapy FAQs page.
Support wherever you are
Because everything is by scheduled video call, you can work with Stephanie from anywhere in South Africa — see the areas we serve. Many people also find counselling for anxiety helpful, as low self-esteem and anxiety often feed each other.
A note on safety
If you or someone you care about is in immediate danger, talking about suicide, self-harm, or in crisis, please seek urgent in-person emergency help immediately (local emergency services or your nearest hospital). Therapy is not a replacement for emergency care.
Book a free intake call
The easiest place to start is a free 15-minute intake call to see whether this is the right fit. You can reach Stephanie directly:
📞 079 565 1779
📧 info@stephaniepsych.com
Book a session
You can also explore counselling for teenagers and counselling for adults in South Africa.
depression and
mood concerns
anxiety
adjustment
pregnancy and
post-partum
loss and grief
divorce
life transitions
trauma
emotional dysregulation
relationship difficulties
self-esteem
school and
work stress
It is important to note that online therapy is not suited to everyone. For individuals who are in crisis, with self-harm or suicidal risks, or in need of in-patient admission, it is strongly advised that they seek therapeutic intervention with an in-person psychologist. If requested, I will be able to provide a list of recommended psychologists in your area. If at any time during the therapeutic process I feel that online therapy is no longer suitable or clinically adequate, I will refer you to a trusted colleague who can take over your therapeutic process in-person.
Therapy sessions are scheduled for 55 minutes and fees are aligned with current medical aid rates. Please note that this practice operates as a cash practice, requiring payment on the day of your session and I do not claim on your behalf from your medical aid. I will issue you with an invoice which you can then submit to your medical aid for reimbursement.
For more, see our therapy FAQs.
Sessions available via secure video call
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